My Day of Fruition

Ever have one of those moments or days where everything seems to come together, everything comes to fruition, it all makes sense and you know that it all testifies to just how far you've gone, to just how much you've grown in Christ? Yeah, today was that day for me.

Hello, my name isn't important, you can call me Rain or Rain Skyward if you wish. I am a young man who has had a very troubling past and for a long time it used to haunt me quit bitterly. I've long since repented those wayward days and rededicated my life to the one true Savior of the human race and headed out on my trek to the heavens above to be with my King, my Christ in his celestial abode. When first the rain would sting the wounds of my painful memories, now like a balm from Gilead it soothes and brings me peace. It is a refreshing reminder to me how Christ poured out his grace on me and washed away my sins and over came me like the mightiest storm. Christ brings me peace like the gently tapping rain on my window.

This morning i had a pretty wicked dream, woke up early because of it. i dont really know for sure what time i woke up since i laid wide awake just thinking about the dream for so long. it was about 5am when i decided to get up and do something about it though. It was a nightmare really, not as bad as some that i've had but it was so sad and scary.

when i woke up, i started to wonder if my sister knew Christ or if she was just going through the motions. i was eaten with conviction because i wasn't sure either way, i did not truly know her testimony.

I sat up in bed and started praying for i don't know how long. i prayed that God would bring her closer to him, that he would use her, that if indeed she wasn't saved as i feared then he would soften her heart so she could her his pleeing whispers.

An other issue that i was reminded of by the dream was church. As a Christian who is striving to become more like Christ, i've been searching for a church where i can be the most useful to him. While i have been looking for one i found many with great preachers who rooted their sermons in the Bible but did not seem to speak or offer help to the lost. i was convicted by this. These godly, passionate preachers we're not mentioning during the service about how one might learn to receive salvation, it hit me that i was doing the same thing. How many times did i ever talk about God to my friends and family, especially in church, and not mention how they could be saved? i could not remember a single time. maybe i didnt want to offend them, or maby i thought that maybe they might already be saved... but was i really sure they were? no, no i wasnt. I was so convicted of the fact that even though i talked about Christ and how he helped me and how he can help them too, i never let them know that Christ is always there for them waiting and that i am here to help lead them to him. I never said that, and my heart burned, convicted of that fact. I prayed that God would help me, forgive me, and lead me to the place he wants me to be.

I wanted to make sure that i was at a church not because they had a cool preaching style but because God wants me to be there. While i was praying, i resolved that i did not know much about what a church exactly was or what the purpose of it was, so i decided to right a very knowledgeable, and respectable theologian for advice and wrote him an email. As i was typing up the email i was in constant prayer, meditating on the fact that God would guide me to the church he wanted me to be at. An unspoken promise he made me this morning to lead me and i will know where i am supposed to be when i get there. I had to rely on God and let him lead me. That is one of the things i still struggle with, letting God lead me. I love the feeling of being led by him, but i find it a bit embarrassing sometimes to be led by him in places i dont want to go and bring him to. God took me on a short field trip today, i think it was to remind me of how much i need him to lead me. I found the church i think i should be at, the preacher practically held up a sign and said all the things i was looking for in a church that God wanted me to be at. As much as i think the Lord wants me there, i am an idiot when it comes to the obvious, so i will continue praying about it to be certain but i think i will attend this church.

I had an amazing day today. I called my sister up today and we had the best conversation we ever had before. i was privileged to hear her story about how she came to know Christ, and how glad i am of that. I never have to wonder again because i know for certain she is saved, her soul secure in Christ. I am so proud and happy of her, i honestly am. she read me a story she wrote for her english class about how proud she is of me and how she looks up to me. God, i pray you let me stay esteemed in my sisters' eyes. Help me stay esteemed in my mother's eyes as well. God most of all, make me esteemed in yours, make me make you proud.

I am so privileged to have the opportunities that i do, so grateful for each and everyone of them. I am so grateful for every one that crosses my path and hope to learn so much from them, and maybe help grow in you Christ. I hope i can help others grow too.

Well thats pritty much my day in a nutshell. I am really grateful for it. I feel like iv hit a point in my life that i have finally made some progress on my walk with God. I feel like i just cleared a hill and i am looking back at the city below, its so beautiful. I am not the young man i once was, Jesus reminds me of that everyday, and i am greatful.